You Teach People How To Treat You
We do not have any direct control over the actions of others, and therefore cannot directly change how they treat us. What we do have control over is our own thoughts, speech and actions. That’s where our power lies and that is always where our focus should be.
Setting Healthy Personal Boundaries – It Begins with You
A boundary simply refers to a specified limit set by you of what is and what is not acceptable behaviour and treatment by another person towards you. The process of setting personal boundaries begins with you first accepting that you not only deserve to have boundaries but they are a critical element of self-care. Secondly, you must accept that you have the right to set them. Your boundaries act as filters permitting what is acceptable in your life and what is not.
Define Your Boundaries
Your BOUNDARIES are what lets people know how you want to be treated. They are your “NO’s” of life. Things you will not allow people do.
If we give our power away by allowing others to control our behaviour, make choices for us or treat us less than we deserve, we are giving away our power.
What we don’t realize is that by not saying anything and keeping how you really feel bottled up inside, you are not hurting anyone else but yourself.
When things go wrong in life, it’s common for us to look outside for a solution to the problem. But the first place you should look is inside. Remember, what you allow will continue in your life. What you don’t allow, won’t.
One of the biggest misconceptions we have about relationships is that others should know how we want to be treated. However, in order for people in a relationship to be on the same page, they need to have access to the same instruction manual.
People will get away with what you let them get away with. You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce. It’s really that simple.
It’s about knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable. It’s about knowing what we need and want and being able to communicate it effectively to others. Those you surround yourself with should be on the same page. With EVERY interaction you have with others, you are teaching them how to treat you.
When anyone in your professional life treats you in a way that upsets you, it is vital to take a breath and remember that no one you ever meet knows how you like to be treated, just as you don’t know what they expect in return. Sometimes we need to actively explain certain ways in which we want to be treated. Standing up for yourself is important, especially if you know you don’t deserve someone’s negative behaviour.
In closing, remember to treat yourself the way you’d want others to treat you. By focusing only on our self-perceived faults and flaws, we’re basically giving permission for the rest of the world to focus on them too.